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Being in the In Between

It's hard to accept where you are -right here and right now- when you have a vision of where you want to be next. We bear the doldrums of our work position until we get promoted, suffer through papers and exams to graduate from school, push aside fun with friends to meet deadlines, suffer through multiple dates to find the right person, let go of healthy eating and exercise to get more done at work, avoid calling our parents until we can report good news in the form of achievement of some sort. We can get frustrated with ourselves, despondent, confused and depressed in this "meanwhile" space where everything feels like a chore. Having fun can feel costly or naughty like we are goofing off from work. Even in your therapy session, you may arrive with a list so you maximize your time and money.

I once had a yoga teacher tell us to let our head drop in seated forward bend. She told us to imagine a dumpling on the end of a chopstick and to let it fall forward as it inevitably will. Sometimes I think about that metaphor when sitting with patients as a head that has become too big in proportion to a body that has been neglected and malnourished. We are so encouraged to be led with our thinking mind or intellectual mindset and mistrust our sensations in the body and our emotional mind. Sometimes I suggest to patients to change their position to be more comfortable, turn off the camera (we are in time of telehealth Covid at the writing of this article) or trust the pauses in session to help with attuning to being very present.

When we prioritize our comfort and allow ourselves to be present, we can observe and listen to all that arises in the moment. We are not being naughty by taking a moment away from working. We are not being indulgent or selfish by not doing something productive. We are reconnecting to our whole selves and can pay attention to the parts of ourselves that have been neglected and undiscovered. This is respecting ourselves. This is the productivity of rest. This is loving ourselves. It inevitably will pay off.

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